Twilightbreakin's Journals

You're creative..right?

Why don't you help me out, and suggest some usernames? Go ahead and babble anything in a comment below. Be as creative as you like but limit them to at least 2 words, 3 max. Thanks for the suggestions..

xoxo

Dream On..

What is exactly a dream? Is it always supposed to be positive? Why are the negatives have to be called nightmares? But still, even if it's negative, isn't it still in the branch of a dream.

My definition of a dream is different. It's a state of mind that keeps the nerves alive. It makes you want to believe that tomorrow will always have something better to offer. Is it fake? Is it real? No one can ever really know. But why do we dream? Is it so we feel good? Why can't we just face reality and accept that life isn't a stupid fairy tale book people make with the stupid "happily ever after". They make those books because they wish their lives were like their stories. Why do we let ourselves follow in their footsteps? Living, breathing, hoping that one day a prince charming/damsel in distress will come and swipe us off our feet and make us feel lighter than air? Life is not a book that is already written for you. You're here to make the lines that go inside.

I never felt that I'm supposed to be here. I never felt that I belonged, was needed, wanted, nor did I ever feel that I was truly loved. I've always been the excuse, joke, substitution, useless rag doll. That's why I've already given up on these so called dreams, I was born in this world already feeling at a young age that I'll never be enough for someone to be proud of, told that I will never reach my potential, that I'm wasting my studies wherein I'm nothing, and that I will only be a disappointment to humankind itself. Throughout my 15 years, I've accepted all that has been negatively thrown at me.

I tried to be everyone's friend. Not realizing fast enough that I'm being abused. I knew what was going on but I never took action. I don't regret doing the things I've done, but I do regret not doing anything to change it.

Dreams don't just give you hope, they can even ruin you. How? It's when you expect something to happen and when you almost reach it, it gets crushed and you breakdown into tears, wondering why it just had to happen to you. You made the decision to have faith, you crushed yourself into what happened. Who else do you have to blame but yourself.

What makes it worse is when it happens to you each and every day. You want it to get better. You do all that is possible for it to change even a little bit. But you still end up with the worst. What is left for you to do?

So what do dreams really mean? Are they meant for good purposes only or are they going to help you realize that you're life isn't a book. How are you going to live now? By the fairy tale fake life or by facing reality and write what you want to be known for?

Are you going to start now? Or wait till it's almost to late.

Thanks

for ruining my life,

for making my decisions for me,

for abusing me,

for letting me know that you were never real,

for making me feel so guilty for never telling you how I feel,

for letting me believe things could work out,

that everything will be OK,

for never making me smile,

for letting me know that high school has changed how I look at the world,

for knowing that I was there for you,

but you were never there for me.

for hating me for not doing what you want,

for being fake in front of my face,

for letting me drown in the scene,

for not noticing that I've been hurt,

stabbing me,

killing me,

little by little the blood stains.

for letting me feel that I never had a reason to be alive,

& for showing me that I was never a friend in your eyes.

Help be apart of the future of music!

Hey there, my friend and I are starting a music magazine, and guess what?! We're having a bit of a hard time thinking of an awesome name for it. If you'd like to be apart of history in the making, why don't you comment us and give us you're concucted idea. We'd love to know.

xoxo

Lost time for lost minds

Hey world of buzznet! So I wanted to try to put out a blog here on buzznet so I'm gonna talk music since basically that's what buzznet is about.

Hey Monday! Heeey people. I just have to say that I do have a crush on Elliot James, I mean what's not to like about him. He's hot. He's got the smirk that makes me melt. I do mean melt. I get all red when I see his smile. He's awesome. If I ever got to meet him or even talk to him, I think I'd probably just end up staring and he'd be like "hellooooo? are you ok?" and I'll be like "hummana hummana hummana" (got that from FRIENDS). Aaaaah! This is making me daydream more than the usual. I gotta cut down on hilusinating on the whole me being friends with rock stars.

Don't forget that Gerard Arthur Way's birthday is in April 09! We gotta celebrate it. I celebrate it twice since the Philippines is a day ahead from the US. We gotta party like My Chemical Romance. Who agree's with me?!

I'm watching America's Next Top Model, I have no idea what cycle it is. All I know is that Whitney won this one.

xoxo